I can hear my own spirit screaming within my chest.

It's breathing for air, or for fire,

I need to find a release of this negative energy

I turn to the goddess of the moon.

for her fertility brought myself and the sun god happiness.

I pray for my own spirit to someday rest within one of a higher being

someone higher than my own personal satisfaction

My spirit will grow as I die.

Ode to the Enemy's Defeat of the past.

The first sign of spring is the melting snow slowly sinking into the grass
I can recall a muscular aroma that reminds me that nature is renewing
The lightening sky begins to change its contrasts
The enemy will be imprisoned for 9 months until its next return

Frozen lakes await the sun so they may begin brewing
That sweet water that is home to the trout, and guppies
A symphony of birds will all soon be in sync
They sing for their eggs hatching to beauty

They sing for their homecoming from the south or from hiding
The sun visits the raccoons and the squirrels bringing tenderness to all
The enemy will soon be gone with warmth at battle
The sidewalks free of ice like a deer of bitter temperatures

Searching for survival becomes easier with each ray of sunlight
Although the children will miss the sled rides and heated drinks
They will rejoice for the colds ruthless winter bite
I will always cheer when I smell that harsh winter fear

The fear of the enemy’s war strategies gone to waste
The fear of heats accomplishments
The fear of the climates nibble on freezing temperatures
The fear of its own, thrashing defeat
Spring had come, and winter had passed
Unfortunately
The day i rue, yeah well
that day we met
was also a spring day that i god damn somehow,
regret.

Lost.damaged.taken away

Cold-dark-corner of the room
sitting here, is so not like in the afternoon,
smoking your cigarette with your closer mate next to you
of course having your damn precious beer in front of you
and complaining about the sunshine
spreading in your eyes,
saying that it's killing you?

If that's whats killing you love,
then could you imagine whats killing me?
Hah.
What does this thing,
killing
really mean?

I can't believe I've been left behind
or was my love for you too unkind?
I've lost a lot and i might have gained it back
but i can bet on the fact
that what was once for real
will never come back.

We had the chance to build up things again
but you decided throwing it away,
not caring anymore
and never really looked back again.
You let me do the whole thing by myelf,
but what is love walking on the street by one person,
by it's fucking,
self?

You let me walk on that breakable thread on my own
so if it comes to falling
the one who shall fall is no one else but myself.
You're scared of falling
because you couldn't accept
that you can also suffer in what we had inbetween us
but unfortunately,
you made it end.

Throw away excuses 'cause they don't help
express your thoughts and what you feel,
at least; what you once felt.

Cause now it's gone from your point of view
and you perfectly know
but it's like you still want something
thats why i guess,
you keep comming back.

You make me bruise so easily,
it's untrue
I wish i could wash you away for the simple fact
that you make me burst in pain
let me bleed
and hurt me by the thought
that you don't care,
you don't give a damn anymore
and yeah,
it's a sick game my love
i know.

And i think you should leave
and leave me resembled in my akward pain,
for someone
who has never been here,
it ain't hard leaving
thats like,
some kinda' bloody rule.

I try to keep a sinister smile
and a hold of my heart
and taking a deep breath,
giving myself the impression
that at least
half the things you said and offered,
were things you really meant.

You got to the point
were you wanted to knock out,
you ended this chapter without a doubt.

And i bet you say,
it's not what you do
but i say that it's
what you put across.

So live your own life
and go ahead on the path you've chosen,
cause there is nothing left for me,
that could be spoken.

Here is what you wanted to hear and see,
you've really got me there love,
deeply as you can see
i hope that for once,
i reached to the top and made you for one single second,
joyful and happy
as i never wanted to be the only one,
being overjoyed,
apparently.

I could still say this remains incomplete,
but you know what they say..
things can go to an infinite point
but they don't last for
eternal ,
eternity.

Confusion.

The tears that were once dropping down on this face
the shadow that is supposed to be mine
everything that is related to me
to the simple fact that what i used to be
is gone.

Vanished in the thunder
that struck my neighbour right next to me
the thunder of last night,
leaving the biggest damage and mess of the century.

So, what are all these things going through my mind frantically?
Till the day i decided looking in the mirror askin' ,
"where is the real me?"

What the hell is this meant to be?
One, two, three...counting
honestly,
it hit my mind, head
and finally, i was sure.

That day,
confusion was the thing
that knocked on my door and made me sink.

The Redhead.

Open the door
to enter into a room, anyroom,
but wait.
Can't you see this color represents an important thing
in the life of us all?
At least in my personal life
it has represented a lot
gave me realization
and bloomed advantages which only i could see.
Feeling the heat of my bright red hair,
the charming glow
situated right on the top of my head,
oh yes.
Amongst the glow of the fair haired blonde,
amongst the mysterious deep darkness of the brunette.
Still, it is she who captivates all who gaze upon her beauty
she who had walked in that room, on that day.
That evening,
no one could have broken the desperate longing
to look at her
just once more.
In fact
so stunning is she
that the pounding heart skips a beat whenever she is around.
Looking out toward her stareing crowd,
her eyes
full of fire, are hypnotic
almost spell-like
her expression,
of a strong personality.
As she floats throughout the room,
all those guys hold their breath of hopes
of containing their relentless desire
for this phenomenom
among all others.
She is a description of unwavering passion
fire and ice
capable of driving guys into lustfull insanity
and those other chicks standing out there
into undiscovered realms
of jealousy.
She is,
the Redhead.

Momma.

I'm still trying to find out lord
You're heavens have soared through all of my life
but please don't on this day take it all
I know I'm yet to blow out those 16 candles but.
I run out of words; don't you see?
I need more time to grow
I am but only fifteen.
I have so much to say and it's all gripped inside me
I'm sorry I let it loose on her
my fire burned her eyes and pierced her soul
I'm sorry
raising this one freak here, wow, must have been cold.
Now can't you see i'm learning
you're teaching me
I'll never send her my verbal fire, my heat
or at least i'll try
All i want is a chance and that chance you give me
I will use with...
fuckin' caution.

I'll pray to you.

It fell so delicatly, right beneath my nose
i thought it would be just like the others
slowly melt into water that would escape me
But this snowflake for a breif second landed on my skin
and it did not melt
it did not change
it helped me

It was a sign from god
who was making his last retreat
who was i could tell was about ready to give up
and in 3 years I'd die; bittersweet

So one could say,
this snowflake saved my life, mind, and soal
from hells flames and burns
This snowflake gave me realization

My snowflake fell unto my lap
It fell so sweetly like a grazing dear
perfection, that you didn't need a microscope to see
I had been wondering and wondering
but now i was finally sure


Because this snowflake fell into my world.

Acceptarea sosiind deodata cu intelegerea.

Suntem ceea ce suntem
de data asta,
amandoua cu personalitati diferite.

Ne plac barfele inofensive la o cafea si'o tigara,
ne plac zilele de vara si inca multe alte lucruri,
avand multe'n comun.

Doua suflete apropriate,
doua persoane atasate
dar unde e prietenie adevarata
uneori mai aterizeaza si o mica cearta.

Stiu ca am defectele mele,
stiu ca mai am multe de invatat,
asa cum ar avea toata lumea dealtfel.

Sunt lucruri care nu ne plac una la cealalta,
lucruri pe care ne'ar placea si n'i le'am imagina fiind altfel
dar ceea ce stiu precis este faptul ca eu tin la tine cu adevarat
iar vreau ca tu sa faci parte din viata mea
si restul capitolurilor care vor urma.

Nu'mi gasesc vreo explicatie, anume,
ca noi sa nu mai fim ce am fost pana acum.
Sa lasam tot ce am trait impreuna deoparte,
sa aruncam toate acele amintiri frumoase pe geam,
doar pentru ca refuzam sa ne intelegem.

Nu ai cum sa lasi,
sa uiti
si sa arunci totul deoparte
doar pentru ca esti egoist si refuzi sa incerci,
sa intelegi
ca sa poti ierta?

Acum, nu maine ci chiar azi
realizez ca am invatat multe din greselile noastre
si ca tu esti una dintre singurele persoane caruia,
I'as expune toata fiinta mea,
cu ceea ce is eu cu adevarat.

Ne'am luat masuri de aparare
vedem acum care pe care,
lupta n'ajuta la nimic.

Macar asa,
Acum cand suntem aici si stam fata-n-fata
stim ca a sosit timpul.

Timpul cand trebuie sa coboram,
sa realizam ce am fi putut pierde
Daca azi, la ora asta,
Acum,
nu ne'am fi putut accepta
asa cum suntem noi defapt.

One mind, one soul.

You are half of me as a half a candy is in a lil' childs mouth melting
shared with it's closest soul, it's momma.
We might think similar
but never the same.
That's what makes us different and we are here,
to make the difference.
As in me, giving you daily support and love.
As in you,
letting me not know,
but feel that your love is sincere.
As in us,
sticking up for each other and sharing everything.
All the good things and bad things
as in darkness and brightness.
Anytime,
come to me.
When you're down,
lean on me.
I pray,
pray everyday.
Pray for myself having the power to give you strenght
and to never let you down.
So please,
never let me down either.
It's not a threat,
it's only me being usually weak.
Being cowardly scared of losing you,
one day.
Me, fainted-hearted
thinking that all there will be left from the chapter "You 'n me",
will be just a simple colorless memory.
But this time, we'll wash away pesimism
and standup being optimistic.
We'll cheer up and dry our damp eyes,
as the high tide could take us away
staying together till the rest of everyday.
You are my rainbow after the rain
and yes,
together with you
I want to remain.
Share our thoughts,
to be one mind
Express ourselves,
to understand
Extend to each other what we really are,
everything that lies inside
all this m' dear,
to be one single soul.

Life raised me well.

Life takes time to get used to ,
a lot of time and sometimes too much.
People die and the deceased bring tears and crys
but sometimes life, is like a moist towel

unless but at the same time you'de never know the difference.

Life tricks you; Everyday
With it's purpose of you learning from mistakes
With it's surprises from gravity and realization
I blame you life
you're the issue
you're my dilemma
you're my bitter taste.
But sometimes life, you are rich
you stop me from irritating
and you're texture makes me fly
like when you hold your head high,
raise your glass to the sky, smile
and give thanks to me
when you appreciate me
I appreciate you
and that bitter taste turns to sweet.
So thank you dear life
for your support and for the crack of your whip
You put me in line.

Creation of our minds.

Personally,
Up there even if it isn't God
someone definetaly must be there,
and exist.
This person,
mind of all humans
said to his typist,
make sure that they will all think similar
but never the same.

Make sure that between their 13th and 18th birthday
will give them a glance of hell
Let their emotions go frantically screaming through,
out those years.

When authority stands
make them want to push them off
and stand for themselves.

Make sure that some are not effected by my wrath at all
and some are taken whole by it.

Follow.

>
This time
this day
My mind is shouting for release
stress turns to pressure so easily
Sometimes I find my release in fluffs of green
or maybe the beats that flash from sonic lights
in B'ham
perhaps i should turn to something simple
a quick hit and run of with my friend Oana, even if she's thousand miles away
oh teen.
today here is my hand.
I extend to you
the gift of release
I will take your pressures with me
As i fade into oblivion
I can't make you listen to my preach
It's your choice
come with me
we can
sink into careless bliss.